As if I Care....

You can call me an old fashioned girl but that what I am... I am just so sick of people who keep finding faults with me... I believe that the best thing that you can do in life is follow your heart. I don't mind taking risks. I never take the safe and easy choices just because I'm afraid of what might happen. I don't have any regrets and I know that everything happens for a reason...

If people like me its good and if not then its even better...
But just for God's sake.. cant people stop making me feel that I need to earn their god damn piece of shit that they call love ??? errrrr...

I have been sweet to people all my life and yet they (intentionally or unintentionally) say mean words to me...
There are lot of people in my life who keeps giving me suggestions about how I should change myself and be successful in life... and trust me.. those suggestions are not worth anything...

So.. I wanna say this to all the 'pain in the ass' people who is making my life hell for me... "I could say a lot of things on your face only if I would have been ass holes like you.. But I am me.. so I respect your opinions (even if they are worth less)... I am glad you've got opinions. We're all entitled to 'em... But you know what... I never asked..!!!
So thank you so much for time and it would be wonderful if you people wouldn't waste any more of mine... Get the fuck out of my life fast...."

I am me, and I am okay with it. It doesn't matter what any other person thinks. My life is entirely mine…. I love being myself.


I take chances... in fact a lot of them. Because honestly, no matter where I end up- and with whom, it always ends up just the way it should be. My mistakes have made me who I am... I learn and grow with each choice I make. Let me live my life cause everything is so totally worth it.

A Letter To Myself...

Dear me,

I am writing this letter to save you from all the tough times. I know you never really wanted to move here (Jaipur). Since the last three years all your friends and family heard was how much you wanted to move back. Back "home." Back to where you were born. But various reasons kept you where you are.

Now its all about the remaining few months and then you'll be back to the place you always wanted to be in... But, I know that leaving this place is no longer easy for you now. 'moving out' was something you always wanted... But suddenly the fear of moving out of this place is haunting you. I understand that you have spent some very memorable times of your life over here, this place has started feeling like home to you. But you have to be strong.. this is life and you have to leave many things behind.

Don't you remember how many things life taught you in the last three years... You have lost some of your best friends. Even the ones you thought would never leave. You grappled for days and searched for meanings. You examined your actions a hundred million times.

I know it hurt you a lot but now I want you to know that it will happen again and again. I am waiting for the day when you will realise that you have only behaved with utmost respect and you have only been the most sincere friend.

You have done everything you could. You will realise that the ones who walk away truly do not deserve your love. You will realise that time changes every single thing. You will also realise that some amazing people will enter your life, simply because you will eventually let go the past.

I know there are several things on your mind now and it keeps bothering you. But, I want you to Wait.... be patient, and find out what YOU want of life, not what someone tells you you want, and give yourself time to find YOURSELF. Love yourself first before loving another person - if you don't love yourself, you will settle for less than what you should have, because you won't think you deserve the best.

I wish you find your true love soon... and yeah... True love doesn't make you cry. If he makes you cry, don't stay with him. Find someone who can love you unconditionally and who doesn't judge you.

One day you will have the life that you have always envisioned of and then you'll finally realise that the only thing that matters in the long run is spending time with your loved ones and telling them that you love them a lot. You will also realise that laughing a lot, exercising, eating healthy,being kind to others as well as yourself and cherishing each and every day will indeed pay off.

So just let go... This all will not matter really fifteen years from now :)

Much love,
Yourself...

Just Let It be...

Last few days I had been avoiding people (even my family..!!!) because there was something that was bothering me a lot. I spent all my time the last few days waiting for a chance or the break that would make it okay. But there was always some reason not to feel good and it was hard at the end of the day.

I needed some distraction or a beautiful release. So finally I decided to call up my friend because I thought she would make it easy for me (its always good to talk to friends when you are upset), she could make me feel empty and weightless :) :)

And Trust me... she had a mantra to deal with things which are beyond our control.
"Let it be" she says.


She offered no advice, she did not attempt to give suggestions and she did not even pass judgements about whether I was doing the right thing or whether something else ought to have been done. She did not sympathise and did not say "Life is unfair" or that the other person was wrong or that it is a bummer.

She just listened patiently instead and she said, "Let it be."


And you know what? Surprisingly it worked...!!!


So, the next time, when things go wrong, do not send out negativity into the universe.


Just let it be.


Do nothing.


Breathe deeply. Relax. Drink a glass of water (or hot chocolate). Go to a place which fills you with peace and comfort. Call a friend who exudes positivity.


But mostly, Just let it be :) :)

10 Weird Things I wanna do before I die ;)

Some days back one of my friends tagged me on facebook on a picture that said "what if you die tomorrow".. There was a hell lot comments on it... People were making their bucket lists that were pretty emotional ;)
But here I came up with my list :D I believe in being weird whenever you get the chance :P
So check out my weird list ;)

1. Getting hopeless, falling down drunk ;)

At least once in my life, I want to drink far too much and just let loose. Pour down the shots of tequila. Dance on the bar. I know drinking excessively has severely negative impacts on health (albeit a nasty hangover.) But still... it worth giving a try ;)

2. Singing karaoke

Nothing belts a good time better than screaming the lyrics of your favorite song in the company of folks who can't sing any better than you ;) (trust me.. I am an awful singer). Just be sure to load up on the booze (see #1 on this list) and perhaps stuff some cotton balls into your pockets for those "karaokers" who can't carry a tune to save your ears from splitting.

3. Get Lost in Foreign Country :D

I wanna think that I know everything when in reality I don't know sh*t ;) I especially don't ever prepare for ANYTHING because I've been harrassed and nagged to death by parents, superiors, authority figures. I just wanna be glad that I remembered my passport, f*** learning another language ;)

4. Sleep Through An Important Event

Well.. I have always been this 'good girl' who always manages to be on time... But atleast once in my life for a change i wanna sleep through an important event ;) May be my internal clock would get on the fritz. Or it would just be "bad luck". For once I want Preparedness not to be my strong suit. Saying, I got this when I don't :)

5. Get stuck in a jungle ;)

I feel getting stuck in a jungle with your someone special is something really romantic :) I wanna try meadow-crashing under an indigo carpet of stars <3 <3

 6. Experience weightlessness :D :D

Just floating around without feeling the force of gravity :), it is something you should try if you can. Flying is thrilling :) :)

7. See for myself that the Earth is round

The safest way is to sail in one direction and not stop until you’re back home. For a cheaper, albeit not quite as direct method, rise above the Arctic Circle around the summer solstice and spend a night and see the sun above the horizon circle. I for once wanna see that earth is round :)

8. Zorbing

Try Zorbing! You may have seen it, but i doubt many of you tried it . Creates a huge adrenaline rush. I find it kinda weird but yet.. worth giving a try before you die ;)

9. Skydiving

And of course, no "Things To Do Before You Die" list would be complete without a mention of skydiving. For reasons I cannot possibly fathom, skydiving has become the de-facto stand in for "crazy activity you do to feel alive", and as such has been included on every goddamned bucket list since 1984, placing it high in the running for "most hackneyed life-affirming action on earth".

10. Get arrested ;)

Nothing adds to allure and bragging rights faster than a trip to jail courtesy of the police car express. So you mooned a neighbor. Over consumed alcohol and flashed a friend. Or pulled a little breaking and entering to propel your career in pranks. Whatever the case, whatever the reason for handcuffs, getting arrested lends a colorful story to tell over and over again ;)

You Made My Hostel Life Beautiful :) :) :)

Last few days I have been really upset about life and I was endlessly conspiring people to value life and people as if I was some spiritual Guru :P
But wait.. wait... It a beautiful sunny day outside, sun is shining with all its might and birds are chirping... yeyeyeye.. :) I am happy :)
and so I wanna thank all of you who personified the word M-A-S-T-I and F-R-I-E-N-D-S for me... so here I go... TADA..

*Richa*- Well... You are my senior, friend, philosophical guru and lots more... To be very honest I dont know what exactly you are to me.. All i can say is that our relationship has no name but its beautifully in every way...
I love with all my heart and soul. There is nothing in this world that I would not do for you. I trust you with everything I have, and everything I am. I believe that you know this... and that you have known this for a long time... :)

*Prachi*- I instantly love people who are insane like me, and you my matlu, are one of them :) My cutie pie, been through it all friend. Shove me as many times as you want, but, Matlu, you will be the first person on this list whom I would ever want to thank for making my life worth living over her... I love the way you babysit me whenever I need it. You are customized to be my angel in disguise ;) I really love you the same <3 <3 The only thing that bother me is that your college is over now and I don't get to see you my beans :(



*Vishakha*- I am writing this for you because you are totally worth it  :) :) During our fights whenever you left messages to me saying that You love me and you'll always value me the same.. I always climbed on the ninth cloud :D You never got to know this but i always smiled slyly :) I loved our fights and ignoring each other when most of the time I was fighting without even having a real reason behind it :P Whether It was about borrowing stuffs(as neighbors do) or inventing some macho dance steps.. I loved you through it all <3 <3

*Aveksha*- My beautiful princes you are a GOD-took-a-lot-of-time-creation.. we have never really been close but still you made my hostel life easier, my partner in crime ;)
I'd like to say THANK YOU for always being there for me. Whether we live a short car ride or a long plane ride apart, I know I am lucky to have you just a phonecall away. I don't know what I'd do without you my criminal! Your hilarious stories, your infectious laugh, and your smile I can see right through the soul...

*Madhuri*- oohh... here you come dixit... :) :) My sweet lil baby doll.. Did I ever tell you that i generally don't like people who touches my phone or my stuffs??? and here this is you "what is this, what is that" messing with my stuffs and jumping around... but you are a charming exception baby.. You are my teddy bear, i hold you tightly to fall asleep at cold cozy nights and punch you when I am angry... The dishes that we attempt to make ;) or the hot dresses we try.. I enjoy every bit of it... and yeah.... though I am your senior you make me give a second thought to it ;)

*Vaishali*- Dont be surprised to find your name on this list chatkani... How can i ever forget you my sexy doll... Can you please stop being so damn sexy! You make me feel jealous and happy at the same time ;) The way you dance makes go awwww... :) Your belly moves perfectly with your moves and I can't help complimenting how sexy you are ;) you are my charming hot doll. You are a real sweetheart. Darn you. Nobody I know, has as beautiful a heart as you have. I wish you meet your Mr.Right (the one with yellow pants) someday :P

*Nidhi*- My miss 'know it all'.. thanks for being so sweet.. Had you not been in hostel I would have never being able to find out the latest gossips ;) Its always at the end of everything big tamasha in hostel when i come up to you and ask what happened... I love the way you say "lo aa gayi madam.. inko toh kabhi kuch pata hi nai hota" ;) Whether its about studying together for exams or cracking a double meaning joke.. I love your company through it all ;)

*Dhaka*- wo..wo.. here you came my Happy-go-lucky friend :) The only guy among so many girls ;)
okay.. okay.. You are my only insane friend in college.
I really love you for your imperfect ways of doing things and the way you always end up on something really bad. You drive me nuts at times and i really feel like punching your nose ;) Almost half of my madness is your gift to me... But still counting on you has never been disappointing and I know it never will be :) :)

P.S. I am really lucky to have found friends like you in a place like this :) :)

Death Changes Your Life In a Way You Can Never Imagine...

Day before yesterday while coming back from a party with friends, I saw an accident suddenly and unexpectedly. I saw the guy die within no time... I saw his body part scattering...
It took me two days to get that scene out of my mind... but In between waves of shock and grief, I felt a fear and there are words that haunted me...

Gather your courage and consider this scenario: You're sitting quietly at home when the telephone rings. You answer it and find out that the person closest to you has just been killed in an accident.

After the shock, and after you get the necessary details, what's your first thought? If you're like many people, you might think back to your last interaction.

Did you share a leisurely meal together, or were you both rushing about frantically? Did you have a nice conversation, or had you been arguing? Did you take time to embrace before parting ways, or did you forget to even say goodbye?

Most importantly, were you up to date with each other—no unfinished business, no unexpressed appreciation, no "I love you's" left unsaid?

In these two days I vowed to treat people as if each time I see them may be the last time I see them.
This doesn't mean I don't have disagreements with people, nor does it mean I don't struggle sometimes with unresolved issues with family or friends. Sometimes I act like a total ignoramus, and sometimes when I act responsibly, people still feel hurt by me. Nonetheless, I aspire to uphold my vow.

I want all of you to know that there are only three things worth saying: I love you, I forgive you, please forgive me.


Please use these.. realize that life is really fragile.. let not death haunt you.
Let the one know that you love and care because maybe tomorrow never comes, and may be you'll be left with some unspoken words that would haunt you all you life...

Here comes my first award.. :)

While checking the comments on one of my posts, I came across this one "hi,you are tagged here!" Initially I couldn't understand what exactly it was.. but when i checked out the link.. I GOT MY FIRST AWARD..!!
Woooooooooow, receiving my first Blog Award by Gowthami Nandigala was just like getting a Temptation bar in a horror dream. I mean, for once, I though, what, really, shit, yeah :D
Honestly, I was awed a great deal :) :*
This Award being first one to me, deserved a separate full fledged post and I'm glad to pen it down here :)
So, as per the rules, (these rules, being different from the exam rules, are quite fun, lol), Here I go:

Link Back to the person who gave you the award: Done above :)

Share 7 random Things about yourself : Umm.. this one sounds pretty exciting. Well, here it goes:
1. Funny, witty, slapstick comedy is always a treat to me. Though there's a fine line between being vulgar and    funny :P
2. I love gol-guppe like anything. And I wonder how people hate this melt-at-lightening-speed-in-the-mouth-dish!
3. I love shopping especially when it is for clothes and bags and shoes. JUST WOW.
4. If I love someone, I love him/her with everything I have and vice versa.
5. Nothing gives me more pleasure than being with my loved ones, they complete me, anyday!
6. I like counting stars at night and discovering different constellations simultaneously. That Pole Star is like a cherry on the top for me :)
7. I kind of enjoy long drives with slow soul warming music. It's the best remedy for any disturbing element, trust me!

Moving on to the next one,

My Favorite song: There are loads of them, seriously, I keep changing my taste and my playlist in installments ;). Still, I'll say "Everything I do, I do it for you" by "Bryan Adams" and "Every time we touch" by "Cascada" for that matter! :)

What piss me off: Dishonest, double standard, jerks, wishy washy and people who try to insult others.

Biggest fear: Well, losing my loved ones. Apart from that, Bring it on, baby! :P

Best Feature: As my friends say, My Dazzling smile :) *blush*

I wanna share my bloggers award with my friends for their words which once touched my soul and nourished it inside out, You made me smile :) I feel heavily honored giving away this award to the very deserving. Here are few of those magical people. I love them all anyway!

Blissful Realm -Vaneneng
Teetotum of written expressions -Anuradha Sharma
A Life's Journey -Sie

The Color of Our Skin -Marie Harmony

Pretty Little Things -Marie Anna

Mrsupole's crap - Mrsupole

ExPreSSo -Miss Sheikh Chilli

Crying with A Sense Of Human -rivercat

It's Rhyme Time -Pat Hatt

Rainbow -kaykuala

waystationone -Brian Miller

Nona's Pensieve -Nona

Ege This -Ege

Phewwww...!! I did it :D

Well... Order doesn't matters... and yeah You people write really well.. So.. Please accept my prize as a token of love and keep writing..!!

*Hugs*

P.S. I hope you know the rules of receiving an award (share some facts about yourself and spread the love) :)