Dear Future Husband,
I’ve had my share of experiences in the past and after a lot of retrospection I’ve realized I’m probably not the best judge of people. Because I’m certain I can’t blame my share of horrible experiences on the male gender altogether, I’m taking a deep breath and leaving it all on my parents. My enthusiastic Indian parents. So you can’t blame me if I’m a little bit paranoid. However, I believe in — “there’s someone out there somewhere waiting just for you” kinda love. But before my parents find you and finalize the contract, I need to say these things to you because I don’t want, but need you to swear by these long-awaited ultimate fantasies of mine for a happy-ever-after for us.
So here it goes…
1. Just because its an arrange marriage don't skip asking me for marriage.
For you it may be cliched but for me, the day the man can bow down to you leaving everything aside, he knows you’re the one. My parents may have given you the green signal but seeing you take my consent first will be the first time I’ll look up to you and may fall for you too.
2. Love me first, don’t cut to the chase
I absolutely love being cared for and vise versa. I swear I don’t want to generalize but this is something I’ve noticed in many Indian men, they take their 'wife' for granted. Hug me often... may be just to make me realize that you are there. For me, there’s always love before lust my darling.
3. Leave me notes
I’m a bit old school when it comes to romance and all that, I think every girl is. I still think feelings and emotions are best expressed in words. It’s a shame nobody believes in it anymore. Go beyond saying you love me. Write me notes, text messages, Post-its would do, emails even, that I can save for the rest of my life just to go back to them in my low days.
4. “Truly Madly Deeply” by Savage Garden is my dream love life
Cheesy as it may sound but this is the truth. Ever since I was a kid, I’ve loved this song. Every bit of it. Now I want to believe in it. Please help me with that? I promise to do the same.
I’ll be your dream I’ll be your wish I’ll be your fantasy, I’ll be your hope I’ll be your love be everything that you need.
5. Let me consume alcohol however and whenever I want to
I’m a twenty first century girl man. I’m not saying I’m an addict but I hate it when a girl is told to drink less because she can’t “handle” her drinks, just because she’s a girl. Yes I’m kind-of-just-a-little-bit feminist and why shouldn’t I be. Please accept me for who I am.
I absolutely love alcohol and I mix my drinks all the frigging time.
6. Be fine with the men who were there in my life before I even met you
I have a past and I have friends who are guys, some are my best friends. Please don’t expect me to give them up for you because they were my only constants till I met you. I can’t imagine a life without them, it takes ages to find friends that stay.
7. Accommodate with my mood swings
I hate to accept it but it happens. I’d like you to understand me whenever I act like I’m bipolar. I don’t want you to mention it because it’ll make me go crazier. I want you to know that i might say rude and ugly things when I am mad, I might hate you for a moment.. but I'll love you forever. I promise!
8. I might take over a lot of your bathroom space. Accept it.
I have all my toiletries in twos. Two shampoos, two conditioners, two shower gels, two face-washes. I might not need them all at once but I need them to be around just in case. Please understand my dilemma — “What if I feel like strawberry one morning but there’s cocoa shower gel around? What then?”
9. Not every girl loves babies, don’t think I’m abnormal
Promise me you’ll not force having a baby. I do like babies but there’s a long way to the day I’ll be ready to take up that responsibility. I want to do all our honeymoon trips before we decide to take this step.
10. Don’t only be a good listener
Yes I have a habit of over-communicating things. My work, my hair, my nails and what not. Listen to me but don’t just hear me rambling. Respond to what I’m saying, my insecurities make me talk way to glory and if you don’t respond, it feels like I’m talking to a wall.
11. Stop me from munching on things
I’ve seen my friends doing that a lot after they got married. I don’t know if it’s stress or something else, but I don’t want to be a fat married woman. Please take care of that?
12. And look attractive for me
Please try keeping fit for me. Let’s keep the beer belly from coming in between us. Make an effort, like I promise I will.
13. My parents have spoiled me with all the love and luxuries in life, please keep up with it
I’ve been treated like a princess all my life. Once I grew up, I made sure I could afford myself and my expenses. I am independent and I will save money for the both of us. But, I need you to be the responsible man like my dad was to each one of us. Think about "us" and our future together.
14. Make me believe in monogamy
Let’s not even talk about infidelity. It’s a term I hate and I’m always scared of even thinking of a situation I might get into if my husband cheats on me with another woman. It’ll be the biggest insult in my life, if nothing else.
15. You’re probably getting married to settle down in life but just know I might turn it upside down
I’m really messy, with my hair all over your floor to my clothes lying all around the house, to my books bundled up and dumped in the corner and my laptop lying on the bed, all this will be in your room. Our room. It’s not easy to be a woman you see, especially a working woman. Please deal with it till we grow together.
But trust me, living with me will turn your life around, for the better. I can promise you that.