Tuesday, July 31, 2012

"Do You Have It In You?" My SSB experience

Chest no.33 it was what they used to call me, my name was almost lost during those 5 days of my SSB(Service Selection Board) interview.

 Our venue was in Bangalore and the date we had to reach there, was 25rd of July by 3:00 pm. Excited as I was, I waited anxiously, booked the tickets, arranged the necessary requirements as predicted in the call letter, and reported the Bangalore City Railway Station, on the desired date and time. It was then, that Our trip towards astonishing and surprising standard of life began.
There were around 115 aspirants in our batch waiting for their luck and hardwork to ripen. At the scheduled time, We all were in the bus, a bus of ‘Indian Army’, and in few minutes, we have entered the Selection centre South, Bangalore.
The day of reporting wasn’t included in the SSB interview 5-days’ Schedule. It was just to fill up some forms, which included, a PIQ form, a TA form, etc. and allocation of barracks to the candidates. We were 80 girls in a barrack. Then comes the first day.

 26th July
 It was the screening day. We had to report at 6:00 am, so everyone woke up at 4:00 am, in order to get ready. The screening included a series of tests which decides whether you are required for next 4 days to assess your qualities or you are sent back the very first day. We were given the chest numbers with mine being chest no.90. The tests included : an intelligence test, a PPT(Picture Perception Test), a narration, and a GD(Group Discussion) on the stories made by Group fellas to converge onto a single general consensus. The way it went for me, I was sure that I'll be screened in. The result was shocking, the girls who we felt had a better chance were screened out. only three in our roommates, and 45 in all 115 were selected. rest were sent back the very first day. This was the thing, which was not pleasing. You can’t be sure of your selection at any cost. The chest numbers were re-given to all 45 candidates. According to the call letter serial number, I was given Chest No.33 . Rooms were re-allocated, and so we had new roommates for once more. The day ended in a happy mood.

 27th July 
It was a psychological test day. There was a booklet given and a series of tests, were there, to check out the state of mind, level of thinking, reaction to situations. The tests included An aptitude test, SRT(Situation Reaction Test), WAT(Word Association Test), Story Writing, etc. The same day after the tests were over, many of us were called for the interviews, usually the candidates are called in sequence but interview may not be done in sequence necessarily.
First 10 candidates were called for the interview and it was taken individually at different places and in random order. Mine was 24 SSB(Indian Army Board), some had interviews in 12 SSB(Indian Navy Board), thus IO(Interviewing Officers) were also different.

28th July
Now it was an Outdoor Task day, where we had Group tasks. Firstly, we had a Group Discussion on a topic chosen by us from the topics given by GTO(Group Task Officer) among the members of each group particularly. There were 5 groups each containing 9 candidates, and each group had there own GTOs.
 In GD,first we got the topic ‘who is the biggest enemy of India- China, Pakistan or USA ’ and the second topic was ‘Who is responsible for crime against women- Men, Women or Government’

After GD, We had Military Planning test. There was a sitution given with a no. of problems occuring simultaneously, and you have to find solutions to those problems within the specified time limit and with the resources supplied.
 Then there was GT(Group Task) where a series of obstacles are there, which a group has to cross with a set of materials and a set of rules. Then there was a Lecturette where each of the candidates had to speak on a chosen topic for 3 minutes infront of the group members and GTO.
Then there was a Half Group Task, where group was further divided into two, and each one has to perform the task same as GT.
 Then comes the most interesting part ‘The Snake Race’, This was my favorite part of SSB. So, I would prefer you find it yourself what it basically is . :)

 Then comes the IO(Individual Obstacles test) which was a test of your physical agileness, strength and your confidence, thinking. There were 10 obstacles to cross individually in 3 minutes.
 Each obstacle specifies a given no. of points. Now this is the point I performed really bad (as i fell down from Tarzan swing, monkey jump and even double ditch) and got a hairline fracture in my leg :(

While some groups had the GT going on, some had their interviews.

29th July 
The final Group tasks include CT(Command Task) where each individual has to command his two chosen group members while performing a task. It is done to check his leadership quality and participation. This was the round i performed exceptional well and my GTO even complimented me for it :)

 I faced my interview on the same day. My IO (Inter-viewing officer) was Colonel Ashok Mehra. My interview lasted for around 40-45mins and it covered topics ranging from personal life to technical know how and GK. I was pretty satisfied with my interview even tough i was unable to answer few questions. :) 

30th July
Now comes the Conference day, the day deciding the fate of all the candidates. This day all the three, the Psychologist, the IO, the GTO, sit together to decide who is in, who is out. If all three say Yes, then only the candidate is recommended.
The thing they look for in a candidate is OLQ(Officer Like Qualities), and what qualities are those are still hidden in many aspects to the real world. The Conference has a formal procedure where each candidate in their Chest sequence, has to meet all the three testers simultaneously. Then the results,(the result may come good or bad, but the anxiety before it is always same ).
In our Batch N-STL/68011 only 7 were recommended for the medical test, rest had to leave the same day. I was in the rest, so could not tell much about the medical tests, but I know, those tests are secondary, the prime focus is always towards getting RECOMMENDED, and the first step towards becoming an Officer of Indian Army.

Though I didn’t get selected and I know I never had so much preparations or confidence towards joining Armed Forces, I will never forget those days. Those 5 days though sent me back unsuccessful, but I didn’t returned empty-handed, I had a exciting, cheerful and inspiring experience, which would help me all my live, it changed the way I think and execute my plans, how I talk, walk and be in groups, it changed the beliefs and the way of living. I am thankful to my friends, Our Indian Armed Forces, and their selection centres to rekindle the dead spirits in me. The age limit is 25 for the Indian Army (women), and I am 22, so, I do have 3 years more to try again. And I will not miss the chances now, anyhow….

One statement of the wall posters of our barracks that still roams in mind every now and then and will always do is -
 “DO YOU HAVE IT IN YOU?” -Indian Army

I can’t say about you, but in my point of view if you are above 18, you are just an adult, and if you want to do something substantial, then join Indian Army.

 Take care.

P.S. Even though i got a fracture and i'll have to be on complete bed rest for the next 2 weeks while i have to keep the plaster on for 6 weeks... I am coming 'Back with a Bang' Indian Army..!! I wouldn't let you go :)

Monday, July 9, 2012

Rain and Me...

I don't spend enough time doing the things I should do. I am stuck somewhere between responsibility and dreams. I want to live life intensely, loudly, poetically. Instead I am walled off. Hidden behind of veil of strength and propriety.
Am I broken? Am I healing? Am I incapable of intensity? Have I lost my passion? Have I just become too strong? An impenetrable fortress? Am I worried about what others will think? Am I afraid of reflection? Of rejection? Am I afraid of what I will find if I dig deeper?
 I am afraid that I will be misunderstood. Rejected. Pushed aside for not being what is expected, undesired. It is scary to put your soul out there. I am in awe of those who are able to find the words, the brush strokes, the lens view, to truly show their view of the world, their soul, their inner most person.
I don't let that part of me out very often. I want to be brave enough to live without that fear of the rain.

I sit and watch
as the rain falls
 from a sky so dark and gray

Is this life
a crying sky if so,
not even I can fight

I'm tired of hurting 
I'm tired of tears 
I'm tired of being alone for all these years

I want peace
and I want love 
I want to break free
to fly above!