Saturday, December 29, 2012

2012 - What have I learned?

1. I've developed an intolerance for bullshit.

This seemed to be the year I just couldn't handle excuses anymore. I'm not sure why, but this year I just got tired of saying "I can't" when what I really meant was "I'm not going to" or worse, "I'm scared."

This was the year I got a lot tougher on myself, and subsequently, other people. I don't mean to be harsh, but I really get annoyed by people that expect change to just materialize out of thin air. At some point this year I really became aware of my belief that life is what you make it.

I've only gained from this attitude adjustment, but I think, sadly, its also distanced me from people. I'm not saddened by the fact that I'm not as close to people as I've been in the past. I'm just saddened that some people will be so content to stay at status quo. I refuse to stay there myself. I've done enough over the years to hold myself back, I don't need anymore dead weight when I'm trying to move forward.

2. I'm a lot stronger than I think.

Physically and mentally.

Physically, this was the year of the gym and the year of literal strength building. I'm doing things I never thought I could do, like dead-lifting, squatting half my weight (ass to grass!). The only reason I thought I couldn't do those things was because I never tried. Now that I've tried and conquered some goals, I plan to keep trying. I plan to keep setting new goals, to lift heavier, to run faster and longer, to be fitter.

Mentally, I've done a lot of positive things for myself. I spent the first few months of the year in counseling, working through some issues. I rearranged my schedule so I could spend more time at home, relaxing, rather than sleeping in til the last second and having to do all my personal shit at night. I've read more, I've written less on the blog and more on my hard drive. I've tried to become more aware of my brain, the stress it goes through, and giving it a rest.

3. Things change.

If I had it my way, everything would be awesome all the time. I would have total control over what the world threw at me and even more control over how I respond to it.

I've never been one for change but this is the year I've really had to embrace it. I've made changes as much as I've rolled with the punches this year. Life moves on with or without you, no matter what the situation. Change isn't always a bad thing, you just don't have a lot of other options than shutting up and dealing with it. So that's what I did. I just dealt with change as it happened.

4. People have to help themselves.

I've spent the better part of the last year giving a lot of myself away to others. I can't go into much detail on this, but what it boils down to is that people choose to be the way they are, and most people don't own up to the choice. If you choose to be miserable and moody, life will treat you like you are miserable and moody. If you choose to accept this behavior in others, if you choose to try and work around people's character flaws, or if you let people walk all over you, you will get what's coming to you. You will be just as miserable as the people you surround yourself with.

That said, you still should try to do what you can for people, because sometimes, people aren't so far gone that they can't be helped with love and support. But in a lot of cases, there is only so much you can give and only so much you can accept from people before you become the sucker.

5. Keep calm and be a princess.

I'm so neurotic sometimes. My Mom always tells me I'm a worrier and that I need to relax. Of course, then all I did was worry about how much I worried. It's a cycle.

This year, I think I've finally figured out how to just hold my head high and get my shit done. I've realized that panic and worry does nothing but aggravate my heart condition and keep me up at night.

So how do you avoid worry? Well, part of having less worry is just being prepared for things. Worried about being late for work? Set your alarm earlier. Worried about getting the right nutrients in your diet? Make your own food. Worried you're forgetting something? Make lists. I make so many goddamn lists for all kinds of things, but it helps me keep track of everything. What groceries I need to buy, what days I have appointments, etc.

And on that note...

6. Organization is important.

I have always existed in a state of finally tuned chaos until this year. It seemed like the worst things would always happen to me. When I really got to thinking about it, I realized my life would be a lot easier if I just kept track of my life a bit better.

So now, I try to always have plans for back up plans. You can't really plan everything, but there are a lot of things you can plan for. You can plan your meals and exercise just as much as you can plan to relax. As far as money goes, I have a budget every pay day to keep me on track, which in turn, gives me the ability to plan my life better.

Murphy's Law can't get to you if you have a plan to deal with Murphy. I read that in a book somewhere this year and it just made so much sense. The better organized and prepared for the worst you are, the less likely the worst will happen.

7. If you do it all, people will expect you to do it all all the time.

I have a very "take charge" personality and it's both a blessing and a curse. I literally feel like I can do it all some days, but really, I shouldn't have to. I have friends, family etc. that are all capable of doing their own things, so I shouldn't be trying to do everything for anyone else.

Sometimes it's really hard to keep it all together. We all stumble, we get tired, we have issues come up that make it hard to stay on top of things. You have to have people in your life that can step up to the plate for you when you need the help. Sadly, I don't feel like I had much of that in my life this year. So the plan for this year, is to surround myself with people that are more supportive, and also to let go of my need to control all the things. I need to relinquish control and stop trying to do it all.

I hope everyone reading this has a great 2013, but remember, it can only be what you make it.


Pat Hatt said...

Many things all can relate too and yeah I agree with them all too, have to ignore the bs.

DiDi said...

Wonderful,i also learnt somethings Up there. Compliments Of the Season dear..

Chicky a.k.a. Kaddu said...

Extremely well written... and honest!

Could relate with quite a few of these points. 2012 was a crazy year... lots to learn for many people I guess.

Here's to starting 2013 with a greater belief and strength in our self! Happy New Year to you!

Misterio Vida said...

Happy new year to you too... hope it bring a lot of happiness and joys..and never stop learning :)

SAM said...

Hi, nice post.Lots of things are there that,if followed religiously,can make anyone's life a lot better . Have a wonderful year ahead.

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