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Sunday, July 17, 2011

Where are you..???

So many people try to keep their blogs positive. It's a life-affirming space, a safe place, etc. I spend every day, all day, trying to be that way in the real world. This is my let it all hang out space, my safe place of negativity. When I hurt, I let it out here. When I'm tired, frustrated, depressed, alone, angry and resentful I come here and spew all the things I can't let out into real life.
And since the last two days there is something that I cant really get out of my mind..

"Either you are thinking about what happened in the past or worrying about what will happen in the future. You forget to consider the present. That's the only trouble with you."
That's what my friend said to me two days back...


Though I may hate it... but he is right.
I don't regret my past, but I do think if I could have taken some decisions differently, done things another way, may be thing would have been better.
Perhaps the biggest past factor with me is thinking about people. I don't exactly nurse a grudge, but I find it hard to forget. I might think I have forgiven, but then at unexpected moments I realise I don't know how to forgive. It all comes back.

The future thrills me and scares me to death. I fear losing what I have, but even more than that, I fear that I might stop appreciating what I have. I've run from responsibilities, relationships, people... I pushed people away.. the ones who loved me.. the ones who cared... and what if I do all this again??

My friend calls it my "second guessing streak". He says I think negative thoughts and either worry myself trying to prevent it or worse, get fatalistic and make it happen.

I can perhaps stop thinking about the past. But the future...? It confuses me, when people say "live in the present, don't think about the future". I cant help thinking... will not our actions today affect our tomorrow?

16 comments:

Vishakha said...

Not being plagarist but I sure would love to share a quote with u "We call today a Present because its a gift to us" .
Hope this would boost your morale ! You can't get away with negativity but do keep Optimism handy !! :) :)
Wishing you luck and success!

Madhulika said...

@Vishakha: Thanks a lot for your kind words... and yeah.. i am trying to be optimistic but there are days when everything you do goes somewhere down the line but never fetch you the desired results.. These are the days when nothing goes right and remind you of something you are missing in your life....

Mrsupole said...

Hi Madhulika,

Being a person who is a lot older then you, I can say that I have a lot more of a past to think about and maybe not as much of a future.

I can only tell you that what was your future a moment ago is now your past. Is it worth worrying about? Maybe, maybe not, because what is going to happen will happen and you only have control of a very small part of what happens in your future. There are so many variables that happen every moment that can change your future forever. So many things can happen and if you spend every moment thinking about what can possibly happen then you will never truly enjoy what is happening.

The best advice I can tell you is to just get out there and enjoy "life". Enjoy every moment that you have. What will happen will happen.

I do not know if you have a pet, such as a dog or cat. But believe it or not, they set one of the finest examples of just enjoying life as it is happening. They have such faith that we will provide food, shelter, and attention for them. Wild animals are the ones who we could possibly say are worried about the future but even those in the wild spend a lot of time just enjoying peaceful moments in their life.

Love yourself, love your family, love your friends, love your life, and everything else will fall into place. Just enjoy being alive, because one never knows when you will no longer be.

Go watch the Lion King movie and truly listen to what the words say. They make a lot of sense.

Just live!!!!!!!

God bless.

Madhulika said...

@ Mrsupole: Thanks a lot for you kind words. I always find peace in your words. Its like you make me see things the righter way and the way it should... Thanks a lot... Its always nice and soul soothing to hear from you..!!

Mukesh Kumar said...

Another interesting blog written by u Madhu....
I can simply tell u that take d lesson from past, live in present and make ur future Bright.

All the Best!!!!
:)

Madhulika said...

@ Mukesh Kumar : Thanks for appreciating every single article of mine :) its always nice to get compliments from amazing people like you..!!
And as far as the suggestion is concerned.. I really value it and will try to follow it :)

Pat Hatt said...

I have to agree, I live in a present some, but I also can't help but think "If I do this now, what does that mean for tomorrow" You have to think that somewhat. The only way you don't have to is if your amazingly rich and don't have any worries what so ever. Then I suppose on could play and not worry much about the future..haha

Yeah I also can hold a grudge quite well and never forget, even when I want to..haha..gift and a curse

Madhulika said...

@ Pat Hatt: In that case i guess you can understand the ill effects of carrying grudges and never forgetting... :(
not sure about the gift but its for sure a curse :(

rivercat said...

past, present and future are just concepts in the mind like occupation or children. i dont think they hold much significance because like it or not we are not in control. I like to take time to do things i enjoy, just for the sake of the doing. this provides a balance to what is difficult to get a grasp on, which is the flowing a redirection by circumstance of our thoughts

Crying With A Sense Of Human

Dipesh Garg said...

@Mrsupole: liked your advice.. its all about exploring yourself

Madhulika said...

@ Rivercat: may be you dont really worry about past, present and future... but i cant helping thinking about it... may be i can be like you someday...

Whatever said...

Our thoughts today effect our action of tomorrow. If you can't stop thinking at least stop believing everything you think to be true.....
P.S. Stop telling yourself you can't, maybe you haven't yet but one day you will.

Madhulika said...

@ Whatever: trying... :)

Prateek said...

Life is full of uneven surprises. Knowing future before letting it happen takes out the thrill. Mulling on past makes life whirl. Life isn't perpetual. Death is eventual. Why to worry? Enjoy it Madhulika.

vaneneng said...

Hello Madhu! It's completely understandable what you've been going through, I believe we all come across this point in time in our lives. May I just share to you my favorite quotation that always help me make it through, "If things are happening according to your prayers, then you are blessed. But if not, you are very blessed! because they are happening according to God's will.:)

Live one day at a time, give love, show love and spend time with the people that matters to you. As long as you're not hurting anybody, you don't have to worry. Enjoy the journey Madhu, anyways we'll all get there when we already run-out of time.

By the way, I followed you back. Thanks for visiting my blog I really appreciate all your comments!:) Take care girl and see you around..<3

Reiki said...

I have a friend, whos seems to be just like you.I have understood, that for me acceptance is one of the things I need to learn. Once we accept things, or even begin to see that this is the answer, then we are on your way to understanding lots of different things in life. Especially that we all think differently. It is good to live in the moment. Living in the past can make you regret things, but we are who we are :-)

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