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Sunday, October 9, 2011

FIGHTING WITH LONELINESS (Guest Post 1)

 Jayendra Sharan is a wonderful bloggers who does not fear to share his true experience with the world... It was very sweet of him to pen down this post for me... This is a wonderful post because i feel at some point or the other we all face loneliness.. Check it out and i am sure that you'll be able to relate yourself to it...
Thanks a lot Sharan... :) :)




WHEN I KNEW that I am going to start my life, my life, on my own, I chose what’s best for me. I had to set priorities and had to take decisions like what is more important for me. I set standards for my life. And the part that I always loved till now was my first priority, to be alone. I wanted a lonely world, where no one could disturb me or influence me in taking decision. So, as much as I loved loneliness I hated crowd and to some extent people out there talking about me. But, I guess it’s was not my destiny. I learned to live with some special people. But that part of me still urged for the loneliness. I don’t know why, but I knew somewhere deep down that I am going to be alone, and I desperately wanted to be alone, although I was happy. But I think to be happy or not, is not in our hand. I was happy, when I was what I not wanted to be, and now I am not happy when I am what I wanted to be, pretty complicated huh…

FOUR YEARS OF my college, made a drastic change in my personality. I wanted to be the person with I could not end up. I remember my first year when I was completely alone, the change started to come and I felt there is part of mine which is unhappy for being alone. So, much talk about being alone, I guess. Let’s take a leap on time and come to the point when I was not alone. I mean I was not in relationship, like love, but I had people around me who loved me and whom I loved. I wanted to be with them for my most part of the life. But…there are lots of buts in this story; I hope you’ll bear with that. The story always takes a turn. I passed my first year and then I was in second. That is when I met the most important person of my life. I spent rest of the days of colleges happily, like I was never before.

I WAS A happy man, with whatever I wanted. I was now not in love with loneliness. I thought perhaps the days of loneliness have passed. After that I never wanted to be alone. But 
again, there is something over which we don’t have any control. At the time of campus recruitment I left alone in a company in which none of my friend, good friend got selected. I was once again alone. I tried to live my rest of the days at college with full enjoyment. I knew I am going to be alone in few days. And that same part which urged loneliness was 
happy again. In fact I was a little bit happy too, I had expected this, that no one comes to our life for a life time.

BUT AS THE days are passing by right now, I feel very fortunate because I know how to be alone. But still, even though I like to be alone, sometimes it feels like there should be someone with whom I can talk freely. Most of my friends have already joined their companies, unfortunately my company is delaying in joining, and so I am here, at home writing this, expecting each moment that someone is still thinking about me. I look at my phone with great expectation whenever it beeps, I think that someone recalled my name in their conversation, but it hurts when I get to know that it is none other than our customer care. I know what I am doing, and I hate to do that, I am fighting with my best friend of back days, hating every part of it, I am fighting with loneliness. I don’t want to be what I am.

22 comments:

Sourabh K Rao said...

i can relate...to be true...i can relate to most words :) i was a loner...but college life taught many things...as time passed i felt life was beautiful with those special ones by ur side...and then boom college over...seems like everyone got busy...feels like im back to square one...im lonely again :)the fight continues :)

nice post :)

trupty said...

its true with many of us who love loneliness....

Anil said...

Feel n taste........
Something is gud, rest is bad.

Pat Hatt said...

True, all hav prob wrestled a bit with this at certain times.

Ege said...

I think there will always be moments when I want to be alone. I just have to accept myself.
I think if we accept those moments, it will feel okay.

Red Handed said...

I like being alone sometimes. It calms me down, makes me think. But being lonely forever or wanting to be lonely are not something i hv gone through.
Great post i must say!

kaykuala said...

Pangs of loneliness is a privilege, Madhu! Not many get to tackle it in a planned way.We can come up with innovative solutions. But sadly most allow it to take charge and drift along! Thought provoking story!

Hank

Muhammad Israr said...

i think we all can relate to it in one way or the other...nice post :)

Mrsupole said...

Growing up in a large family, one is rarely alone, so to be alone became a special treat.

I also think that there is a difference between being alone and being lonely. One has to like themselves to be alone. Then again we are all always alone in our minds. But if one is lonely then one must make the choice to change that in their life.

One must choose what one wants to do to end the loneliness. One will never find friends while being alone, so go out and do volunteer work if you cannot find paying work, it looks good on a resume and employers like those who "do" instead of those who sit and wait. Plus, when one is out there amongst others, then one finds friends and maybe even the "one".

I know it can be hard to put oneself out there in the world, but change is good. Life is about taking chances and making the most out of any situation. So get off the couch and find something to do. There is a whole world of lonely people who just need someone to volunteer to be their friend, so go find them, you can make a difference, you will see.

God bless.

Brian Miller said...

i hear you and i have been there...we crowd our lives as well to make our selves not feel it but it is there...to get beyond it we have to be very intentional...i also agree with mrsu there is a vast difference between being alone and lonely...

Bikramjit said...

I know that feeling it was like in school .. and now here in Uk too i feel lonely not many friends around ..

beautiful post .. Thanks for introducing another blogger ..

Bikram's

Alka Gurha said...

I have grown up in a joint family and am facing an empty nest now..its tough. Loneliness scares me and I envy friends with big families.

♥Sie♥ said...

There are times when we really need to be alone and silence is usually are armor specially in times of defeat..but I have always believed that everyone of us need someone..we are created not to be alone for the rest of our lives.

It is reality..oftentimes people would just come and go and pass our lives..but the best thing is we had at least a chance to be with them.The best thing to do to cure loneliness is to be willing to open ourselves to be loved and be accepted again by other people.

albusclosethedoor said...

Patience is a virtue and it always bears fruit :) So nice to see you trying hard :) But still loneliness is not that bad :P

rivercat said...

sometimes im lonely and sometimes iwant to be alone or enjoy being out of a relationship
i liked reading this story and can relate tosome of it. bst of luck to you sharan :)

Ed Pilolla said...

you described the place very well. you, like so many of us, are journeying, and there are valleys in the journey. beautiful write.

TheBluntBlogger said...

i can totally relate to being alone...i am a loner but i don't mind company when i am in a happy mood...i takes ages to be friends with someone...so... :)

#_#
The Blunt Blog

its me!!! sharan :) said...

@sourabh..same case buddy :)

@trupty..but now it doesn't seem good :( :( :( read last line

@anil..yes, its true and the thing we like does not remain for long..

@Pat..yes..thanks for dropping by :)

@Ege..the accepting thing is okay..but its becoming lengthier for me..and i dont like this :(

@Redhanded...thank you very much..your appreciation means a lot :)

@kaykuala..thanks a ton

@israr..thanks a lot :)

@Mrsupole..you are absolutely correct..but the thing is sometime in life, you'll have to face few things without any option..blv me..it happens

@Brian..i agree..but if you dont have any appropriate choice then you end up with same result in both case..some thing happens without any choice... :(

@Bikramjit..thanks a lot..will be looking forward for your views on my blog :P

@alka..hmm..if you dont have experience then its lot tougher..

@sie...yes its true..but the thing is sometime this temporary moment seems like it'll last forever..

@albusclosethedoor..i agree with that too..you see i have written i am fighting with my best friend..

@rivercat..thanks a lot

@Ed pilolla..Thank you very much

@TheBluntBlogger...a lot like me :)

Brian Miller said...

hmmm...i hear you based on the circumstances but i do think many times we just dont seethe choice...

happy wednesday!

ajay said...

Can relate to it. But being lonely for long can drive one insane. Longing for human company is a primal need.

PeeVee said...

I learnt it the hard way that being alone and lonely are two very different things.
Good one :)

Veby said...

The way you described the most consistent and reliable phase of everyone's life or simply loneliness, just made me passing through that time of my life once again when i wasn't really me!! Actually still, I am enjoying this trauma but now I've grabbed damn experience, so not to worry anymore.
A touching one i must say !!!!!!

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