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Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Death Changes Your Life In a Way You Can Never Imagine...


Day before yesterday while coming back from a party with friends, I saw an accident suddenly and unexpectedly. I saw the guy die within no time... I saw his body part scattering...
It took me two days to get that scene out of my mind... but In between waves of shock and grief, I felt a fear and there are words that haunted me...

Gather your courage and consider this scenario: You're sitting quietly at home when the telephone rings. You answer it and find out that the person closest to you has just been killed in an accident.

After the shock, and after you get the necessary details, what's your first thought? If you're like many people, you might think back to your last interaction.

Did you share a leisurely meal together, or were you both rushing about frantically? Did you have a nice conversation, or had you been arguing? Did you take time to embrace before parting ways, or did you forget to even say goodbye?

Most importantly, were you up to date with each other—no unfinished business, no unexpressed appreciation, no "I love you's" left unsaid?

In these two days I vowed to treat people as if each time I see them may be the last time I see them.
This doesn't mean I don't have disagreements with people, nor does it mean I don't struggle sometimes with unresolved issues with family or friends. Sometimes I act like a total ignoramus, and sometimes when I act responsibly, people still feel hurt by me. Nonetheless, I aspire to uphold my vow.


I want all of you to know that there are only three things worth saying: I love you, I forgive you, please forgive me.


Please use these.. realize that life is really fragile.. let not death haunt you.
Let the one know that you love and care because maybe tomorrow never comes, and may be you'll be left with some unspoken words that would haunt you all you life...

35 comments:

Nona said...

I agree, death changes your perspective.

Muhammad Israr said...

very true..death shatters you inside...

Ege said...

This is why I wrote in my award post that I never take anything for granted.... Things can chance quickly. Hope you feel better now.

Mrsupole said...

I am so sorry you had to see that. Something like that would change how anyone thinks. Working in a hospital also changes ones perspective.

As one grows older one loses many friends and family, I guess it is just a fact of life. My mom is the only one left in her generation, she has watched them all go. When she is gone then we will be the oldest generation in the family. It is a scary thought.

You are very wise to have learned how important it is to try to have the last words you say to those you know and love is, "I love you." for you are right in that you never know if it will be the last time you talk to them. Although I do think that if those are not your last words, that you must also know that those who have left you behind unexpectedly always know deep in their hearts that you love them. So even if someday you do forget to say those words, always know the love can be felt and does not always need to be said, but I do try my best to end every phone call, visit, and even a text with "I love you". I think I do this also because if I am the one who unexpectedly leaves, having had this almost happen a few times now, that I know my loved ones will never have any regrets about not knowing these were our last thoughts together.

I also say another thing to them if I know they are going somewhere. I ask them to please drive safely, or have a safe trip. I sometimes just hope that by my saying this that hopefully they will drive with safety in their mind because I have reminded them of this.

And so I will say to you that I wish you all the best in your thoughts and that you focus on the happiness in your life right now. That you stay safe in your journey through life and know that those around you love you with all their heart. Being happy can be one of the greatest gifts you give to those around you. So I have decided to send you happy thoughts today, tomorrow and for the next few weeks. I think you need them.

I am going to go read a happy thought about the award you have given to me. Been offline these past few days. Still can't figure out the problem. Okay, I need happy thoughts about my dang modem again. Happy thoughts!!! Happy thoughts!!! Happy, happy thoughts!!!

God bless.

MarieHarmony said...

I am sad to read you experienced this. It is always hard to witness death this way but it always help us to see Life differently and the people we are sharing it with on another angle. We realize we don't have much time to love people and that one missed act or word can weight on us for a long time if not said when the occasion occurs.
Forgiveness and Love are feelings that can only be true and sharing them with one another make us rest in peace when death takes away our closed ones.

Beautiful message and reminder Madhulika - one to read every day to integrate life is precious. This makes me want to rush home and hug my husband, this makes me want to send a message to my friends and family saying I love you. This makes me want to spend each minute in gratitude for what I have and in prayer for every departed soul.

Hope you are feeling better and you are recovering from the shock. TAKE CARE and stay well always. xxx

Pat Hatt said...

Very true, one should never let things linger and get them said, because you could walk out and be hit by a bus or something and never get the say them.

some unspoken words said...

very well said. i like ur attitude towards life. live life ur fullest. god bless u.. take care

Madhulika said...

@Nona : yes it does.. and the emptiness it causes makes to value life even more... dont just breath.. live your life..

@Muhammad Israr : Death does break you down but what hurts even more is some unsaid words and unexpressed emotions...

@Ege : hmm.. I am better now and I am glad you never take anything for granted.. we should never take anything for granted... regret and remorse is the worst feelings in life...

@Mrsupole : Thanks for your happy thoughts.. I really need them and thank you for being so sweet to me... I am glad I found you in this bloggers world... I always find answers to my problems in your comments.. It all means a lot to me.. Thanks for everything..!!
*love you bunches*

@MarieHarmony : It was really tough to get 'that' out of my mind but now i am fine.. Thanks a lot for your care :) :)
and please do go and hug your family.. tell them that you love them and you care because nothings hurts more than unexpressed love and unspoken words...
*hugs*

@Pat Hatt : I agree completely... Life is really very unpredictable... so never linger anything..
life you life each day and be thankful to everyone who are a part of your beautiful life....

@some unspoken words: Thanks dear.. you too take care and value life.. be thankful to God for everything he has done for you...

Anonymous said...

we should live our life as to regret never, say and ask whatever you want and never let your ego come any where... life is all about adapting to changes... and choosing the best option for all of us..
Thats why we should always be at the side of our loved ones... :)
they are the most precious part of our lives..

Love to all...!

Anonymous said...

@Mrsupole: Very Well said the below words... its true that love is always not needed to be said.. but we should try our best to Express it and make the ppl feel Special if they are to Us.. They are the Gems of our life.
"
You are very wise to have learned how important it is to try to have the last words you say to those you know and love is, "I love you." for you are right in that you never know if it will be the last time you talk to them. Although I do think that if those are not your last words, that you must also know that those who have left you behind unexpectedly always know deep in their hearts that you love them. So even if someday you do forget to say those words, always know the love can be felt and does not always need to be said, but I do try my best to end every phone call, visit, and even a text with "I love you". I think I do this also because if I am the one who unexpectedly leaves, having had this almost happen a few times now, that I know my loved ones will never have any regrets about not knowing these were our last thoughts together.
"

Brian Miller said...

this is a humbling reminder of that fragility for sure...death is sucha stilling moment, centering us in the reality of life....nice challenge too...might have to give that a try...and great wisdom in teh 3 important things...

R. Ramesh said...

well meaning post friend..i have seen many such deaths in mumbai esp on the tracks...and yes what u say is perfect...

veerubhai said...

Good post and good job Madhulika .
ब्लॉगर Madhulika ने कहा…

I am really confused about this.. I am sorry to say this but I dont really support Anna.. :(Madhulikaaji ,Rahul ,her sweet Mom ,Mayavati also confused about Anna ji ,we are a democracy ,you may agree to disagree .

Priyanka said...

We value our lives too less and spend too much time cribbing about it all. What we don't realise is that, we don't HAVE that much time.

Good that you realised the value of people you love, one less person who is self-obsessed:)

Thought-provoking post...

Ed Pilolla said...

i really like how honest this is. and i also like your thoughts.
'please forgive me' i want to think about...
nice to meecha. here from pat hatt's place.

Sie said...

I so love your post Madhulika..wow a clap from me :)

I have a heart ailment sis and one thing that I have accepted is one day I can just leave at an instant and join our Creator..one thing I have learned to cherish every moment with my love ones..Life is so precious..

Let us all learn to love..either through actions or words..make every person that passes your way feel how much you love them..don't wait even a single minute to tell or let them feel how much care and love you have for them before it's TOO LATE and have REGRETS of not doing it !!

I know you DESERVE the AWARD I have Made For You..kindly check my site sis :)

Sujatha Sathya said...

its horrifying to witness an accident that too where someone dies right in front of ur eyes. its difficult get that thing out of our heads.

Vivek said...

HI Madhulika,

1st time over your space , and found this post which connect me with your thoughts ..I have also ..seen one such instance when a A man was dead at the roadside ..and his blodd was all over the road..it the scene I can never forget..
yes in life ..we might have difference with people ..and even can hurts them by our words ..but if we realize our mistakes and be sorry for it then it also need some heart from other to forgive normally its hard ..to see that forgives as ppl are getting more egoistic ..and don't think out of that ..vicious circle.
Yes you said it right at the end ... Love is the essence ..of life ..and other two are are solutions of the differences ..we get often.

Take care.

kaykuala said...

Death is something most would avoid talking of. It's morbid,tragic,horrific,frightening and sad. But somehow it is good to be aware.

cLai ♥ said...

I hope Its easy to say "I forgive you" to that person who made my part of my life miserable

its nice to visit here in your blog♥
http://claimundslife.blogspot.com

Sie said...

just passing by again and checking on you..sis are you ok?..or maybe your just busy..pls. be safe always ok :)

Jyoti Mishra said...

Instances like this sometimes teaches a lot... as in your u learned a lot. Its true we should appreciate the good n good ppl in our lives, which we often don't do.
A thought stimulating post..
Nice job !!!

Madhulika said...

@Brian Miller : Thanks a lot... I believe that life is so fragile to teach us to value its worth..

@R. Ramesh : Seeing such a thing is really upsetting and distracting... Thanks for your words.. It means a lot to me...

@veerubhai : Thanks for understanding that i have the right to disagree... Loved your wisdom :)

@Priyanka : Thanks for passing by and droping your valuable words.. :)

@Ed Pilolla : Do as you like to be done... even when you make the weirdest mistake you want to be forgived... so why cant we forgive someone who did the same to us??

@Sie : Thanks for all your care.. and thanks a ton for your prize... I am really very happy that I found you... Love you loads...

@Sujatha Sathya : yes it is really tough.. I still get scared at night... :(

@Vivek : seeing such an accident no doubt distrubes you a lot but at the mean time it also makes you stop and look back at your life... It teaches you how fragile life truly is... I am glad you understand the essence of life..
Thanks for stooping by my blog and dropping your words.. It means a lot to me..

@kaykuala : Yes well all avoid talking about it only till it comes to us or people who are close to us.. It is really important to be aware...

@cLai ♥ : forgiving is not at all that tough.. all it needs is love and understand... Live is too small for grudges.. So live and love...
Thanks for stopping by... hope to see you around :)

@Jyoti Mishra : Thanks for your words... I love you visits to my blog :)

Chandrika Shubham said...

Hi. :)
Things my blog should know about me : I like the fourth point very much. :)
Death changes our view point this is only I can say.

Best wishes. :)

Rachit said...

quite true.. it takes just the speck of time to take the toll..

Weakest LINK

Arvind Mishra said...

Man being an altruistic animal reacts naturally to the scenes you witnessed ......we just have encountered a sudden demise of a blogger of repute in Hindi blogdom and can very well appreciate your views and afterthoughts!

boletobindas said...

i lost my father in feb.. lost a frnd 4yrs ago....i'ts really hard to comeback in normal life sometimes....we know that it's truth....but we all are running with our artificial life...

beanizer_05 said...

Losing makes us realize the importance of something. We always find ways to make our lives "ideal" not just for ourselves but for others. We set our goals..but we often fail to know our priorities.
In the end, you'll realize money, trophies and power are useless when you're already in your death bed. It's always relationship that matters after all.

The Dreamer said...

I'm so sorry. It must have been awful and traumatising. Life is too short for us to live with regrets. We must simply keep moving; it's both a curse and a blessing. <3 Have some love

Madhulika said...

@Chandrika Shubham : Thanks a lot for stopping by.... :) :)
Hope to see you around :)

@Rachit : Yeah.. Even I think the same.. Time can heal all wounds...

@Arvind Mishra : was sorry to know that :( however thanks for having the time to stop by my blog..!!

@boletobindas : I am really sorry for your loss :( May God be with you..
this article is all stop stopping for a while and taking a step back to realize how we are actually missing important things in life because of running here and there..

@beanizer_05 : Well said.. I completely agree

@The Dreamer : Yes it was both awful and painful.. but it atleast taught me to value life..

sawan said...

Thank you. i just spoke too couple f my frnds and told them how gud i feel being with them!

AJAY HAZARI said...

True,death always gives us an initiative to understand life.Generally it takes a little longer to understand how valuable the "living ones" are.

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Yap said...

Nice picture of Death guell

vaishali said...

Nice post Madhulika madam. All posts are awesome. Keep working. get some Motivation by reading Motivational Quotes Blog

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