Wish Upon A Star

I have a small black bag filled with powder, well more like dust really. A magic kind of dust squeezed from the wings of pixies and fairies. A quick pinch of dust liberally sprinkled over your hair and viola … you now get one wish. You can have anything you want, but only one thing, and only for one night. What would you wish for? If you could have/do/experience just one thing before your old clock runs out, what would it be?

It’s an interesting question. Mostly because you only get it for one day, one night, one rotation of the Earth.

You can wish for riches, but they’ll evaporate at midnight. And what would you buy anyways … for a day...
You can wish for fame, but you turn back into Cinderella … or Cinderfella … when the clock strikes 12.

All surface pleasures just seem unimportant when you’ve only got 24 hours to go.
If you’re ill, you’d probably wish to be well, just for a day.
If you miss someone you’d probably wish they were back in your life, if only for a day.
If there was one decision in your life you could re-live, you’d probably think differently, if only for that turn of the clock.

So here’s my question: “Can you live tomorrow, and take one quick moment, one quick breath, and wish upon a star?” Can you take today and see if there’s something you’re going to wish for many years from now, when you really only have 24 hours left, and not just wish upon a star, but rather make that dream come true?

Waiting to get your answers :) :)

Sometimes, all a man needs is a good beating

I wonder how feminists will react to the above headline. Yet, if I were a man and were to write about meting out similar treatment to women, all hell would break loose.
Don't get me wrong... I am not promoting violence of any sort against any person of any sex. But I AM thinking...

I, for one, have slapped at least 4-5 boys/men in my life. It was never because I wanted to hurt them but I had to because they did something to incite me to violence. The first time was aged 9 when this stupid boy kissed me on my cheeks. I clearly remember slapping him to save face. I was not embarrassed by the kiss, but was humiliated when the other kids laughed at me. So I hit him.

The next incident was aged 16, when this fat boy forcefully tried to take my number and follow me. I placed a cracking one on his cheek. I still remember his shocked face. He put a hand on the cheek I had slapped and simply walked away. Other reactions weren't that simple…

The autorickshaw driver I slapped in the face – with a hysterical friend screaming beside me – because I was sure he was trying to peep inside my dress… Aged 20.
A boy in my college who grabbed my hand and was forcefully making me see his point, when even though I was uncomfortable my guy friends said nothing and asked me to ignore the incident. I had fumed, followed the offender, turned him around and slapped him, even as a crowd of My College boys around me whistled and jeered, I was 19.
Another man in city buss, Jaipur, who– tried to catch hold of my breast when I was getting down from the buss even though he was my grandfathers age. I was 21.

And yet when I read reports about violence, it is always assumed that women are incapable of it. In fact women being violent against men takes on sexual tones. Not surprisingly, a Google search of ‘woman beat man’ primarily yielded results that included a fat man being spanked on a sexy woman’s knees and another that had a black man and a white woman sidling up to each other, her hand in his pants. Other image results were mostly toons.

I have never heard of any stories where a woman regularly beat up a man. Actually, no. I have heard one story. This friend’s mother used to regularly beat up –yes, literally beat up, she used a rolling pin I’m told – his father. I didn’t have the temerity to ask for reasons and found it quite hard to digest the story. Still do.

To be honest... After all the stories I've read and all the 'goggle' that i have done somehow it seems that even if a woman was violent, her violence is presumed to be directed more towards herself – self-mutilation etc – than towards other people.
And it makes me wonder. Apart from the difference in physical strength – men being stronger than women – why does violence from a woman surprise people? Is it because the worst is expected of men or is it because women are incapable of violence?

Or is that belief really changing?

PS: I am researching on something and thereby thinking woman and violence.

The Opposite Of Love

Have you ever been irrelevant? Have you ever had the other person NOT notice you? Have you ever thought you were amazing, only to find out, they WEREN'T listening?

I’m not sure where I heard this but it seems to fit: “The opposite of love is not hate it’s apathy.”

I’m sure you’ve experienced it; a total lack of connection. In daily life we get it all the time: our friends don’t see us, our prospects don’t notice us, our bosses and colleagues don’t remember if we were there or not.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t like being irrelevant. So if this is such a common occurrence, why is it so traumatic? Is the opposite of love truly apathy … an unwillingness to connect?

Maybe it’s how we’re wired. Maybe if someone is passionate about you it sparks an engagement, a connection. Maybe that’s what we’re looking for after all: not love, or hate, or something in-between.
Maybe being relevant is what it’s all about, being passionate – being connected, even if that relevance is opposite from the belief system of the other.

We’ve seen it; two people who violently disagree, perhaps even hate each other, eventually have that passionate spark of disagreement turn into engagement. And of course we’ve seen it on the other side; agreeing passionately.

This happened to me the other day. I was irrelevant. The other person wasn’t mad, wasn’t upset, wasn’t frustrated … they weren’t anything. They didn’t answer my email, didn’t return my call, didn’t care to even explore the offer … they just didn’t … and I was irrelevant.

So here’s my question: “When was the last time you were irrelevant?” That’s a tough one to answer because usually it means taking a hard look at ourselves and asking “Why”. Why am I irrelevant? Is it them … maybe. Is it me … probably. Whatever I’m doing they don’t care about. So do you change what you’re doing to become more relevant in their world? Yes, No, Maybe.

You could decide NOT to play in their sandbox. But if you do … if you do decide to play in their sandbox, the only way to get them to love you (or hate you), is to do something important enough to be seen.

So go ahead … do something we’ll notice … be relevant … we dare you … and we’re waiting. :)

And We Had Dinner (Guest Post 3)

A few days ago, one of my friends got a lucrative job in a university. To celebrate the occasion, we decided to go for a lavish dinner at some restaurant. Of course, he was to pay the bill. After a long debate over what to eat and where to go, finally we decided on having a buffet dinner at a near-by restaurant. The date, time and venue were decided and everyone was to arrive at the exact time on their own.

I and my one friend live in a hostel so we decided to go together. We reached at 9pm at the venue. Total of 7 people gathered. But we were in for a surprise. We were told that there is no buffet as outdoor lawns are closed due to the Dengue epidemic. So we had to sit indoors. Searching the menu and everybody wanted to order their own choice. I ordered what I wanted. And as it is normally take about half an hour so we were thinking to sit and chit chat for a while. But our friend had other plans.

He stopped the waiter before he could place the orders.
He asked him to bring the bill in advance! The poor waiter was as much flabbergasted as we were
because the normal thing was to eat first and they pay later. But our friend insisted and so the bill arrived. It was about PKR 3500 (about US$ 40). Well not that much given the lucrative job he got. But as we were still dumbfounded by this act, our friend rushed out of the restaurant. Only after reaching for the door, with jerk of the head, he asked us to follow him. Left with no option, we had to move out leaving the waiter and everybody aghast.

We were thinking that may be our friend realized the money was too much and he wanted us to eat
at some less expensive place. One of us suggested that may be our friend left his wallet and therefore, was unable to pay. Our minds churning out different theories, we tried to reach him. He was moving with a faster pace. We asked him what had happened. We even put our theories in front of him. But he remained silent. Now we were really fuming with anger. What was that? That was like an insult to us. We thought of complete social boycott of him. But he was unmoved.

After walking for like a half kilometer, he entered into a dark corner. We were suspicious. Could he be kidnapping all of us? Or was he into some criminal activities? Or even worse, was he doing something immoral there? Everybody would have thought like that if were in the same situation. It was a dark night, with no electricity and being in a place far from human population, we were bound to be skeptical. Anyway, we followed him and reaching the corner, we could see some light probably a candle or a lantern there. And in that light, we could recognize there were humans. Who were they? Children kidnapped by these criminals? Or the ones used for begging and illegal organ transplant? One never knows with places like these.

We continued to move on and now we could clearly see the faces. It was a family consisting of an elderly woman, with a man, probably her husband, lying on the floor, apparently ill. On the other side were an infant with no clothes, and then there was an ultra-slim teenage girl, obviously malnourished. They were telling our friend that they had no lunch and dinner that day and the infant was unable to sleep because of hunger. Our friend took out his wallet, gave her PKR 3500 and left.

We were spellbound for the second time that night. This time, we were ashamed of ourselves. For
not having dinner at that restaurant, how much dirty and evil thoughts we had in that little time. On the way back, we didn’t speak at all. He offered us to dine at another less expensive restaurant on the way. But we could not. We were not hungry anymore. It was around mid-night when we reached our hostel. And I could not sleep that night. I often have had that feeling that instead of eating something very expensive at a very expensive place, one can satiate their hunger with something less expensive.
And I do that almost every day. But the money I “save” this way remains in my pocket. I never thought of giving the money “saved” to someone who cannot afford even a simple meal a day. And I think that night, the dinner which we didn’t have, was the most gourmet dinner that I can ever have in my life.

-Muhammad Israr

P.S. Thanks a lot for this lovely post Israr. I loved it completely but I am really sorry for publishing it little late :(

and for all of you you loved it.. do check out The Way You Make Me Feel, Its one of my personal favorites at Israr's Misterio Vida :)

Nothing is Random (Guest Post 2)

First, I would like to say thank you to Madhulika for inviting me to do this guest post and congratulate her as well on achieving the 100 followers. That is quite the milestone. I did not even want to start blogging, but at the encouragement of a friend, I did. If you look at my numbers now you probably would not believe it, but after nine months of blogging I had 35 followers. It was not until well into my second year of blogging when it really caught on and I figured some things out.
Mostly my early pieces are stories or tidbits of life but then a year and a half into my blog a commentor challenged me to write poetry. I had not written poetry since college, but tried my hand at it. Two years later, I have been published, featured in magazines, won the Twitter Art award in New York, performed pieces on stage, co-created several successful online poetry venues, the current one being dVerse Poets Pub.

Life can be funny like that, twisting and turning in directions you never saw coming. Not only is this true in my blogging world, but it holds true in my every day walk around life as well. I am nowhere near where I thought I would be at 38, but that is not necessarily a bad thing. Everything that I have gone through, every high and every adversity has helped mold who I am today. Through it all I do hold onto a truth and that is "Nothing is random," everything happens for a purpose.

I chose a poem to share with you that I wrote almost eighteen months ago. It is a favorite of mine that I often go back to and reread for a little encouragement of my own. I hope you enjoy and congrats once again Madhulika.

Girl On The 7:15 Train

across the body packed aisle

of the 7:15 train,

unbelievably, our eyes meet

and i read a poem,

in their endless green.

i would write it for you

but then it would be

open for interpretation,

twisting what makes them

truly spectacular, into dross.

that's what we do

with poems &

other beautiful things,

deconstruct them until

all that's left is old

shoe boxes full of

miscellaneous parts

and no way to put them

back together again.

doors swish open with a hiss

of compressed air & we

exit, going our separate ways,

me to work, you

snuggled tight to your

mother's shoulder &

i twiddle my fingers,

deciding to keep your eyes,

an unfathomable green,

only for me.

- Brian Miller

P.S. Thanks a lot Brian... I totally loved your effort to write this post for me.... Much love :)

FIGHTING WITH LONELINESS (Guest Post 1)

 Jayendra Sharan is a wonderful bloggers who does not fear to share his true experience with the world... It was very sweet of him to pen down this post for me... This is a wonderful post because i feel at some point or the other we all face loneliness.. Check it out and i am sure that you'll be able to relate yourself to it...

Thanks a lot Sharan... :) :)

WHEN I KNEW that I am going to start my life, my life, on my own, I chose what’s best for me. I had to set priorities and had to take decisions like what is more important for me. I set standards for my life. And the part that I always loved till now was my first priority, to be alone. I wanted a lonely world, where no one could disturb me or influence me in taking decision. So, as much as I loved loneliness I hated crowd and to some extent people out there talking about me. But, I guess it’s was not my destiny. I learned to live with some special people. But that part of me still urged for the loneliness. I don’t know why, but I knew somewhere deep down that I am going to be alone, and I desperately wanted to be alone, although I was happy. But I think to be happy or not, is not in our hand. I was happy, when I was what I not wanted to be, and now I am not happy when I am what I wanted to be, pretty complicated huh…

FOUR YEARS OF my college, made a drastic change in my personality. I wanted to be the person with I could not end up. I remember my first year when I was completely alone, the change started to come and I felt there is part of mine which is unhappy for being alone. So, much talk about being alone, I guess. Let’s take a leap on time and come to the point when I was not alone. I mean I was not in relationship, like love, but I had people around me who loved me and whom I loved. I wanted to be with them for my most part of the life. But…there are lots of buts in this story; I hope you’ll bear with that. The story always takes a turn. I passed my first year and then I was in second. That is when I met the most important person of my life. I spent rest of the days of colleges happily, like I was never before.

I WAS A happy man, with whatever I wanted. I was now not in love with loneliness. I thought perhaps the days of loneliness have passed. After that I never wanted to be alone. But 

again, there is something over which we don’t have any control. At the time of campus recruitment I left alone in a company in which none of my friend, good friend got selected. I was once again alone. I tried to live my rest of the days at college with full enjoyment. I knew I am going to be alone in few days. And that same part which urged loneliness was 

happy again. In fact I was a little bit happy too, I had expected this, that no one comes to our life for a life time.

BUT AS THE days are passing by right now, I feel very fortunate because I know how to be alone. But still, even though I like to be alone, sometimes it feels like there should be someone with whom I can talk freely. Most of my friends have already joined their companies, unfortunately my company is delaying in joining, and so I am here, at home writing this, expecting each moment that someone is still thinking about me. I look at my phone with great expectation whenever it beeps, I think that someone recalled my name in their conversation, but it hurts when I get to know that it is none other than our customer care. I know what I am doing, and I hate to do that, I am fighting with my best friend of back days, hating every part of it, I am fighting with loneliness. I don’t want to be what I am.

Woo-hoo..!!! Celebration Post..!!! :) :)

YAY!!!!!

Actually, I got to 100 followers today evening...got all excited {triple digits for this lil ol' thing?? really ??}

I feel like taking a moment to celebrate the readers of this blog. You guys! I don't much acknowledge that more and more people are finding Madhulika Speaks a cozy space to drop in on, and that makes me happy! Some of you know me personally, and a lot of you just via the blogosphere. I love sharing little pieces of my life, my family, and my endless projects with you, and am glad you enjoy it.

Truth is, I'd blog even if just for myself because I get to babble everything here :)

But it's fun to have a growing readership, and really fun to occasionally run into someone who tells me, "I read your blog!" :D :D :D

I really Love all of you and I want to tell you people that its because of you that this blog has become so dear to me :)

Seriously, it is.

So I was thinking what I could do to celebrate 100 followers...

I could always give $100 to one of my subscribers?

Nah. That's stupid. I barely have money as it is, why the crap would I do that?

I could always give my 100th subscriber a steak dinner?

That's even dumber, why would I treat my subscribers to a steak dinner? I rarely have a steak dinner. ;)

So after careful thinking, I have decided to give a proper Indian lunch to ANY ONE of my followers whom I get to meet personally (I know its crazy, but its fun).

And apart from the lunch I am also looking forward for at-least two guest posts from my followers or any (random) reader of my blog..!!!

So, if anyone is interested in writing a post for my blog then please come forward and become a part of my celebration.. I would really LOVE it...!!!

Please contact me to show your interest by dropping a mail at madhulika.mdh@gmail.com

Hoping to hear from you soon :) :) :)

Cheers...!!!!

P.S. -   I'll post the guest posts by 8th of October :)
P.P.S.- Because of your overwhelming response to the guest post, I have increased the guest posts from Two to Five..!!!! Love you all loads..!!!